I started my first relationship therapy role at Relationships Australia while I was completing the last subjects of my couple and therapy master’s degree. The first books my then couple therapy clinical supervisor recommended were written by Harvill Hendrix (on love). I had already started to line my shelf with John Gottman’s books on relationship communication and David Schnarch’s books about self-differentiation in relationship. I recommended After the Affair by Janis Abrahms Spring to quite a lot of couples over the years.
Many more authors have more recently come out with great books such as Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity and books on non-monogamy such as Polysecure by Jessica Fern, which was never taught at university. Another book that any couple therapist should consider to stay contemporary is The Ethical Slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other adventures by Janet W.Hardy.
There are many good books available on relationships of all kinds. Here are some that sit on my study bookshelf but there are many more available. Happy relationship reading!
Communication
- Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver.
- Why Marriages Succeed or Fail by John Gottman.
- Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
- How to be the Love You Seek by Nicole LePera.
- Nonviolent Communication: a language of life by Marshall B Rosenberg.
- Non-Violent Communication: create your life, your relationships and your world in harmony with your values by Marshall Rosenberg.
Romantic Intimacy
- Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Hellier.
- Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix.
- Receiving Love by Harville Hendrix.
- Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.
- Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.
- Hold Me Tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime by Susan Johnson.
- Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch.
- Intimacy and Solitude by Stephanie Dowrick.
- Act with Love by Dr Russ Harris.
- After The Affair by Janis Abrahms Spring.
- Polysecure: Attachment, trauma and consensual non-monogamy by Jessica Fern.
- Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships by Merillee Clunis and Dorsey Green.
Relationship Resources for Clinicians
- The Marriage Clinic by John Gottman.
- Handbook of Attachment by Cassidy and Shaver.
- Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors by Susan Johnson.
- The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy by Susan Johnson.
- Family Systems Theory-Developments in the Milan-systemic therapies by Elsa Jones.
- Hope and Despair in Narrative and Family Therapy- Adversity, forgiveness and reconciliation edited by Carmel Flaskas, Imelda McCarthy and Jim Sheehan.
About Melinda Austen
Melinda Austen is a clinical supervisor and workplace and leadership coach with over three decades of clinical experience working with refugees, asylum seekers, Defence veterans, Police and couples. She now helps the helpers. Melinda supports colleagues, including social workers, clinicians and other professionals such as lawyers and allied health who work with vulnerable clients. In her supervision and workplace coaching practice at person2person Consulting, she is driven by a desire to help people foster healthy, productive teams and thrive in their work. www.person2personconsulting.com